Yesterday was a rough day

Before I get into the "woe is me" bit, let me just say that our new home is gorgeous. I am so thrilled with it and will take pics and post them as soon as I can.

So, I've been feeling pretty shitty about not Oing yet. Not stressed, just annoyed and less hopeful. I'm started to feel like acupressure really isn't working. I got bumped down to once a week since I was "doing so well" and now, here I am in the cycle day 20s and no O in sight. CBEFM is still at low and I am slowly losing hope. I'm starting to re-evaluate what my OB said about seeing a RE. I have my follow up pap tomorrow with the new doc and will asking her for a second opinion. In any case, seeing as I'm still Oing very late (and yes, I know that today is only CD 22 and I could O soon, but lets be real) I probably won't O for another week. If this cycle is another bust, I think that Clomid will definitely be the way to go. I gave the acupressure a valiant try and its time to move on to something I know works. Anyways...

Yesterday I got a call from one of my co-workers that I often work with on projects. She works in one of our east coast offices. We have a really good working relationship. We aren't very personal with one another, but work together closely. We were discussing homes and she mentioned something about using one of their rooms as a nursery. Well, of course I didn't think anything of it, just because I figured "oh maybe she's trying to get pregnant." Then she says, "well, I might as well tell you. I'm 10 weeks pregnant." She said that I was only the 2nd person she told aside from her direct superior at work. Her and her H were not trying and she travels a lot for work. I was ok with it; happy for her of course, but I just felt like letting out a sigh after she told me.

So, I go home and try and brush off the funk I was in. Chris gets home about an hour after me. He sits at the breakfast table and says "Guess who's pregnant?" My 1st guess was my sister-in-law as she is always my 1st guess when he tells me that. He said no. It's actually friends of ours. Now, to give background, 2 other couples that are our good friends got married last year in addition to us. One couple is 17 weeks pregnant, and now this other couple is 13 weeks. And me, well I can't even O properly. Both couples started trying around the same time we did...and well, there it is, we are the only ones left still trying. When Chris told me, I immediately welled up (as I'm welling up just typing this). The 1st thing out of my mouth was "whoopdie freakin do." Not exactly the response that would come out of the mouth of a person who isn't jealous. So, as you can see, yesterday was not a good day.

Nor is today a good day. I sat in traffic for what seems like forever. CBEFM registered another low and my temp is f-ing with me. I'm starting to think I might be having an anovulatory cycle. Not to mention that I accidentally ripped off the side buttons on my favorite pants when I bumped into a cubicle wall.

Why does this all have to be so hard? Both of our sets of friends know that we are trying (b/c we felt OK sharing that with them since they shared the info with us) and it just feels like absolute shit to not be pregnant. Again, I can't even O at a "regular" time. If an average cycle is lets say 30 days long, I've lost about 10 weeks since we started TTC, just in waiting to O. So depressing.