I'm not dead, I swear

I just really suck at blogging now. Its quite atrocious actually. I have been meaning to update for a while now and seem to never get to it.

Lets start with the basics. We're all great. My collar bone is all healed and dandy with my lovely metal plate. This should be interesting when we travel in 2 days. I have been able to resume normal activity (since the end of October) so that's been lovely. I dyed my hair a very warm, rich brown and I love it. And I know, I know, this post is worthless without pictures but I have none of the new hair-do. I will take some while away this weekend I'm sure and will try and post. DH is fine too - he was sick and you know how men are when they are sick. Effin babies. I don't think I need to elaborate on this one.

Gabriella is great. She is developing her speech rapidly. I am keeping a list of all her words and thus far I'd say she's got about 20. Most are in English, some are in Croatian. I feel like she's throwing a tantrum every 5 minutes so that's boding well for my nerves. She officially transitioned to 1 nap about a month ago. I am very thankful for that. Her naps on the weekends suck major ass, but she naps great during the week at daycare which is all that really matters.

We're going to DC for thanksgiving to see my bestie and her hubs - I am so freaking excited!

Here's are 2 G pics to hold you over till the next time:

Two years ago...

I found out I was pregnant with Gabriella. What a day it was...I was so happy and so scared at the same time. Little did I know then that this little girl would completely steal my heart in such a way that I find it hard to breathe without her. My life is so much better with her in it. And although we do want more kids, our life feels so complete and whole with her. Love you baby girl....

In Gabriella updates, well she is totally hilarious. She's repeating everything, Croatian and English. Dh was swearing and she repeated stupid and while I was pissed at him, it was freaking hysterical to hear her say "stupee." Oh, and also, she thinks everything is a phone. Anything that is flat and fits in her hand gets put up to her ear with an enthusiastic "hey," which is then followed by the most hilarious babble I've ever heard.

She's in that transition nap period where she only takes a super short AM nap, but then takes a 1.5 to 2 hr nap. If I make her take only one nap, its total garbage at like 45min to an our. Then she's a total pill by the late afternoon.

And OMFG, she's doing this body banging/slamming thing where she sits in her crib, with her back against the rails, and slam slam slam slam. She does it before she goes to sleep and when she wakes up. I hate it!

15 month appt

15 month appt today - Gabriella is 26lbs 6oz and 32 inches long. She's 90th percentile for both! Aside from her perpetually runny/stuffy nose, she's perfectly healthy! She walks, she talks, she throws tantrums...all the fun things a 15 month old does. She had 3 shots: MMR, Chicken Pox, and the seasonal flu one. She cried for a bit, but once she got some cuddles she was all better.

As far as my recovery, I'm still doing well and recovering very quickly. My physical therapist is hoping to have my lifting restriction lifted a week to two early since I'm doing so well. Fingers crossed!

Here's the little chunky monkey the other morning:

I'm the worst blogger EVA!

Hello blog readers, if there are any of even left out there! Clearly I suck at blogging, but I have good reason for being away for so long.

So, we went on our 1st family vacation to Croatia for pretty much all of August. It was a wonderful vacation. To be able to spend so much time with my family and to have Gabriella dotes on every moment was just more precious than I could ever put into words. I was super nervous about traveling with her so far, but she did great. Things would get a little hairy trying to fall asleep, but for the most part she was in that frazzled overtired state most of the time and there were WAY too many things to check out on the 3 planes we went on to get there. She was a total trooper though.

While we were there Gabriella became a full time walker. I was so excited that this got to happen in Croatia. She had no problems with the time change and became adapted to island lifestyle right away. The last week we were there she got sick and shit literally fell apart. Her sleep went to hell and then we got a trickle down effect from there. She was still in OK spirits most of the time, but man the tantrums and meltdowns were epic. As brokenhearted as I was to leave my family, who I know I won't see for 2 years, I was happy to get home and get Gabriella back into her element. We had to re-sleep train and it took about 4-5 days and now all is well again. She is still taking 2 naps, but her morning nap is only about 40-45 minutes and then she takes a 2 hour afternoon nap. She's also got one molar all the way broken through, one that's partial, and 2 (the bottom ones) that are about to emerge.

She's chatting up a storm and says words in both English and Croatian. Its super cute. I'm so glad that I almost exclusively speak to her in Croatian and that she was submerged in just that for 3 weeks. So, now an update on me...

About 5 days after we came back from Croatia I fainted in my bathroom and broke my right collar bone. I was sleeping on the couch and H woke me up to go to bed. I got up, went straight upstairs to take out my contacts, and as I was taking out my contacts I fainted. Woke up moments later on the floor with a broken clavicle. Passed out again momentarily trying to get up. We had to have an ambulance come and get me b/c I couldn't get off the floor. To make a long story short, there was nothing they could find in all their testing to attribute the fainting to. I'm very healthy and all my tests indicate that. They attributed it to getting up too suddenly from sleeping, being jetlagged, and exhaustion. I had surgery to repair my badly broken clavicle a week ago and am now in physical therapy. All in all, things are healing great. I am at home now on disability and will be for a few more weeks. I can pretty much use my right arm for anything except heavy lifting, which most importantly means that I can't pick Gabriella up for another 5 weeks. That is BY FAR the worst thing about this. I could deal with pain every day, but not being able to be a functioning mother to my own child is slowly killing me.

Oh yeah, and my MIL has to pick her up everyday at daycare b/c I can't. Rock on, this is so extremely fair and just. But alas, I can't do anything about it. Here's one pic of the munchkin on vacay. I promise to post an update next week after her 15 month appt and to post more pics later today!

Pictures, finally!

Happy 1st Birthday!

Well, I can't believe it. My baby is 1 today. I have approached this day with many mixed emotions. Today has been about the same. We were supposed to have Gabriella's 1st birthday party on Saturday but she had a nasty fever virus last week. She was also recently the flower girl in my BFF's wedding over memorial day weekend. I need to post pics of that STAT. She looked so cute. We have her 1 year appt on Thursday and I'll update with her new stats then.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sweet baby girl who I cannot imagine my life without. Thank you for making me a mother and thank you for bringing so much joy and happiness into my life!

I suck at blogging....

Looks like I've been neglecting my blog! I can't say that its entirely without reason. I normally update my blog at work and have been so insanely busy that I just don't have the time. When I get home I don't even want to look at the computer.

As you can see from the ticker up top, we are approaching Gabriella's 1st birthday. I have mixed emotions about it. I am of course so excited with every new phase in her life, but the fact that my baby is already almost a year old is unfathomable. Her latest and greatest:

-Crawling like a pro. She was full-time army crawling about a month ago (so right at about 10.5 months). Then about 2 weeks ago she decided she was faster if she actually got up off her stomach. She is ridiculously fast now!
-Pulls up on everything. She will find the tiniest ledge on anything above her an pull up on it.
-Eating lots more table food. I'd say were at about 60% table food to 40% baby food.
-Dropped her 4th bottle. We are now at 3. One 1st thing in the AM (but I think she could hold out till mid-morning if I waited), one with lunch, and one before bed. She's averaging about 15-18oz per day.
-Getting more familiar with her sippy. She usually just likes to play with it, but is making more sip attempts actually leaning her head back.
-She loves Leo and the fridge and will bolt to either at any given moment. The fridge specifically if she sees its being opened .
-Likes to cuddle and be cute. She loves to crawl up to me (if I'm on the floor with her) and then either roll onto me or wrap her arms around my neck and babble "mamamamamama"

I think that's about it. We'll be having Gabriella's 2nd plane trip on memorial day weekend for my BFF's wedding. Yes, she is the flower girl :)

I leave with a few new pics:

Picture post!

The latest and greatest

I have totally neglected my blog and I apologize!

What's new around here, hmm...let's see....

Gabriella is freaking hilarious. She just totally silly all the time and I love it. Oh, this is heart melting (and most of you already have heard this ;): last week we were playing while I was getting ready for work. I sat on the floor next to her and she reached over, grabbed my head, brought it to hers and said, very softly "mama." OMG, I melted into the floor. I am still reliving that moment in my mind, it was so sweet.

She is also starting to stand for play. I stand her up at her musical table and she plays while standing. Not for long, but still, that's new for her. She has been getting up on all fours sporadically, but nothing really resembling forward movement in that regard. She loves to fall backwards from sitting now to get onto the floor and she lunges forward from sitting onto her stomach. She continues to love banging things together and loves to stick her index finger into holes...mainly my nose when I am giving her her bottle.

She is also venturing further into table foods. Thus far she has had random cooked veggies, bread, pancakes (blueberry and buttermilk), and blueberry waffles. This weekend I think I want to try cheese with her. I am thinking of making her grilled cheese. She loves to feed herself and has a very good pincer grasp. She still loves to shove 5 puffs in her mouth at a time though and it seriously freaks me out every time.

Updates with me--well, I am trying to slim down and tone up. I have been working out 2 times a week for almost 4 weeks now. One day of it I swim laps and the other I work out in the gym. No real results as of yet, but hopefully I'll start to see something soon. I am so sick of being flabby. I'm really not used to it. My BFF is getting married in 6 weeks and I really would life to be in good form for that...and then of course for our vacation this summer.

I'll post pics as soon as I upload them.

A few new pics :)

LMAO at Gabriella and Leo. They are becoming friends and I love it!

Saying mama!

OMG--can I just talk about how this melts me down to the floor? Yesterday I left her sitting on the floor so I could get ready for work and she gave me this pout, and started whining "mamamamama" as she was lifting her hands up for me to lift her up. Of course I did. Not to mention that I smother her with kisses and hugs everytime she does it.

This morning she started clapping on her own without me prompting her. Baby clapping is seriously adorable.

No new movement stuff, but WOW is she getting super "gabby" lately. And no, you many not call her gabby. I'm serious. KThx.

Pics to come soon, I promise!

Quick update and 9 month appt

I am so slammed at work its ridiculous! So, this will be short but sweet. I was away this weekend for the 1st time since Gabriella was born. I went to CA for my best friend's bachelorette party. To say I experienced physical pain being away from her for that long would be an understatment, but I had so much fun. It was just what I needed.

Of course baby girl had to catch a nasty cold while I was away. She's still fighting it off. We went for her 9 month check up yesterday. Gabriella is 21 lbs, 8.5 oz (90th percentile) and 28.75 in long (75th percentile). She has been on those growth curves since about 2 months old. The pedi said she looked great and minus her cold, perfectly healthy.

Gabriella is still not crawling. The pedi wasn't concerned about this. Apparently at this point they just want to make sure they sit on their own well and Gabriella has been a pro at that for quite a while. Her mobility is limited to slithering around on her stomach and rolling. She has gotten up on all fours before, but no crawling yet. My own personal unprofessional opinion is that she's probably content to get around as she does for now and once she wants to start getting farther than she does, crawling might come into the picture. The pedi says that it really could happen at any moment now. So, the waiting game with that continues.

New things with her developmentally, she's learning how to clap and can babble really well. She can do ba, va, wa, ma, ga, ka, and ta. She really does "ba" and "ga" the most but when she gets on a roll a bunch come out! Its really funny. She did say "mama" the other day but not relating it to me. I almost cried though, it was so amazing to hear that come out of her mouth.

She loves banging things together with her hands. She would do this all day long if we let her. She also likes to slap her knees when she's sitting, or if you give her your palms, she'll clap on your hands. So cute!

I'll take some new pics this weekend :)

So much for a quick update! lol...

My new FAV pic :)

Love this baby girl!

Having kind of a hard day

I don't know what it is about today, but its taking every ounce of my body to not flee to Gabriella's daycare to sweep her into my arms and hold her. Its not that I don't always want to see her when I'm at work, I certainly do, but yeah....today is kind've hard. As my little baby has turned into a big baby, she got all sorts of new fun tricks up her sleeve. But, most of all, I think she's starting to miss me, which breaks my heart.

I have always thought that I wanted to be a working mom. I wanted both the career and the family. And while I still want the career, I'm really torn now. I spent so many years getting my degrees and I am damn proud of them, but honestly, right now all I want to do is be with my baby.

To further induce my tears which are on the words, I decided to re-read this forwarded email. le sigh. You're welcome ;)

"Motherhood" (I would give credit, but I have no idea who wrote this)

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?" "It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation. I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic. I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings!

Remotes, Tags, and my 1st award!

Let's start with my first blog award! Thank you ever so kindly to Audrey's lovely momma at From Here to Maternity. You've been such a great pal, BFP buddy! If you don't already check out Sheri's blog, head over ASAP: http://www.littlebabyburns.blogspot.com/. Prepare yourself to squeeze your computer screens from cuteness :)

I will attend to the rules of the award in a moment, but let me tell you about the hilarity that is my child. She LOVES any tags on her toys and adores the remote. I know the remote control love isn't special to just Gabriella; this is a baby favorite along with cell phones (which Gabriella likes too). But man, you should see the intense concentration Gabriella gets when she sees a tag and then, of course, it gets promptly shoved in her mouth, where else?! :)

And yes, she is playing in her bathtub. Thank you to Carly for introducing me to this idea!

Now for more blog award stuff. Here are the rules:

1. Mention who gave you the award and include a link back to their blog.
2. List 7 interesting things about yourself.
3. Pass on the award to 7 other people's blogs and include the links.

Gawd, I'm really not too interesting, but I'll give this a try....

1. I am a "international politician" via education. I have my BA and MA in International Studies/International Relations (respectively). I love what I went to school for but unfortunately the market for my field doesn't really exist in Chicago, but I am hoping to move into it somehow. And soon. My studies were specialized in ethnic conflict and identity politics. I love the socio-psychological side of politics.
2. I adore my dog. Like for realz..... Leo will lay on my chest, put his 2 paws on my face and just lick, and lick, and lick me, until I push him off. I love that he does this! I am the only one he does this to :)
3. I was a competitive swimmer in high school and college. I actually think I still might hold a state record for backstroke. I loved swimming and can't wait to teach Gabriella how to swim!
4. I am bi-lingual and bi-cultural. I am a first generation Croatian-American. I spoke only Croatian until I started grade school.
5. I pretty much only speak to Gabriella in Croatian b/c its SUPER important to me that she learn it.
6. I cannot stand ignorance and hyporcites ::enter ILs::
7. I'm really really close with my family. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with missing them that my heart actually hurts.

I award the following delightful bloggers:

• J, my other lovely BFP buddy: http://blogswewishwedwritten.blogspot.com/
• Sarah: http://cookinagoonie.blogspot.com/
• Carly: http://abelladream.blogspot.com/
• Dianne: http://littleonetocome.blogspot.com/
• Jeannie: http://alittlebrownie.blogspot.com/
• Alicea: http://mnbride1013.blogspot.com/
• Ro: http://roisme.blogspot.com/

8 months old!

I really can hardly believe it. I remember always thinking that 8 months old was such a "big baby" age and now, well, its here. I won't waste this post with my nostalgia of days gone by, but instead, update you on Gabriella's latest and greatest.

First and most important, she loves her mama! No one can make her laugh or get as excited as I can and I must say, I LOVE that! Our weekend consisted of lots of laughing, squealing, playing, babbling, and rolling. Developmentally, here is where Gabriella currently is:

• sitting up unassisted
• is well into level 2 foods-Eats 4 7oz bottles a day and 3 servings of baby food
• rolls around like a fiend
• can prop herself up on her hands and stay that way for a while
• says babababa and gagagaga
• blows raspberries till the sun goes down
• grabs at everything, and I mean everything--she wants Leo SO bad
• loves herself in the mirror
• can turn herself 180-360 degrees on her stomach
• can lift her butt in the air when on stomach and hands
• sleeps 12+ hours overnight (thank you baby)
• naps very well at daycare, but just ok at home (I think she's just too entertained at home and wants our company)

I keep getting the "is she crawling yet" questions, and its kinda getting old. I know that babies all learn at their own pace and considering that she really didn't learn to sit up unassisted that well until a few weeks ago, I can't imagine her starting to crawl right away. I'm sure it'll happen within the next month or so, but in general, what is considered the average age for this? I haven't read anything on it just yet, but am curious for some real-world insight.

To hell and back

Last week was probably the scariest of my life. Gabriella started running a fever on Tuesday morning. Rectally (r) it was 103.5. She wasn't showing any other symptoms aside from the fever, but was a bit more fussy than usual so I called the pedi. They suspected an ear infection and so we went right in and turns out, no ear infection, everything looks great. We were to follow up with them again if she started getting worse. Tuesday she remained the same with temps at 103.5r with a dip in the late afternoon to 101r. I let her sleep and checked on her a time or 2 overnight. When she woke up Wednesday morning she felt exceptionally hot.

I gave her her bottle and took her temp: 105.6r. FUUUUUCK. I had an internal panic moment of should I go straight to the ER or should I call the on call pedi 1st. I figured I'd wait the 10 min for the on call pedi to be paged. He called back an assured me that infant fevers that high are not dangerous, especially considering she had no other symptoms, but he suggested we go back in for another appt. So, 3 trips to the doc later, she had been cath-ed to check for a UTI, b/w drawn to see if there was some type of bacterial infection, and an antibiotic shot (in the event there was an infection, while we waited for b/w results), and we were back at home.

To make an already long story short, it ended up being a virus of some sort and once her fever broke on Wednesday during the day, it only ever came back up to 101.8r. Thursday it was gone and by Friday she was feeling much better. Can we not get sick for the rest of the winter now, mkay baby?

Rolling, rolling, rolling

This baby will not stop rolling. Now, Gabriella has been able to roll for quite a while now, but for the most part has always been content to be in one position if playing with something. This weekend marked a new chapter in Gabriella's mobility. We have entered into the world of log rolling. Its quite cute and she's so fast at it. If you look away from where she is on the floor for one second, you turn around and she's flipped the other way.

This is wreaking a little bit of havoc on our sleeping though. She pretty much immediately rolls onto her stomach as soon as I leave the room after laying her down. Most of the time she has trouble falling asleep on her tummy or she has trouble falling asleep once she's woken up from a sleep cycle. I know its just something she'll have to get used to, but man does she get worked up about it!

I think she might be getting close to crawling. She kinda scoots herself around a bit on her tummy, but yesterday she started trying to lift up her butt to get on all fours. She can prop herself all the way up on her hands easily and for a while, so its just picking up the back end! Sitting up wise - she can do it. She does it the best if she's got a toy in front of her, but she needs to be supervised or have the boppy around her b/c she often flops over (so that she can be on her tummy). Her tummy is seemingly her fave position to be in as of late. On the food front, we are well into our stage 2's and Gabriella has tried one meat: chicken. I made her sweet potatoes and chicken and she loved it. I plan on making squash, chicken, and sweet potatoes tonight as well.

Our next doc appt is at 9 months. Hurray for no shots! We just recently got Gabriella's bigger carseats. We decided on the Britax Boulevard CS. She's still fitting in her infant seat, and we plan to use that for the next couple weeks or so. She's pretty close to being done with it though.

Otherwise, I'm doing well. Getting loads of sleep which is glorious (minus our recent fussing on the tummy issues). Chris and I just bought a bedroom set and are looking forward to decorating our bedroom. I'll be starting working out again soon. I've really been slacking and I've got about 10 lbs I want to lose before summer and I definitely need to tone up. My flab is just icky!

Opening it back up....

After a month of being private, I have decided to open the blog back up again for now.

Gabriella updates to come soon! :)

There's nothing worse than...

Being in the car, during a snow storm, in gridlock, and needing to poop. That my friends, was how my day started. It took me 2 hours to go 15 miles! To say I was pissed would be an understatement. But enough about me (for now)...

Guess who's 7 months old today?! OMG, SEVEN months. I can't even wrap my brain around it. Since I last wrote, much has happened. Gabriella went on her 1st plane ride (screamed for half, slept for half) to the OC, had her first Christmas, got her 2 bottom teeth, started sitting up on her own, felt sand under her feet at the beach, and flew back to chilly Chicago first class, courtesy of F-ing American Airlines cancelling our initial flight.

In boob news, I officially stopped pumping 2.5 weeks ago. It was hard, I'm not gonna lie. The first 48 hours were the worst, after that it got better. Right as my boobs started going down, I became re-engorged in my left breast and developed...wait for it....wait for it....MASTITIS yet again!! I had to go to the doc while in CA and was started on antibiotics and prescription anti-inflammatory which saved my life. Now the boobs are back to their pre-pregnancy glory and size, except with some saggage. Gabriella has had no problems with the formula, other than pooping more frequently.

We had her flu booster shots on Tuesday and I insisted that they weigh and measure her b/c she looked like she had grown all of the sudden to me. She was 19 lbs 8.5 oz and 26.75 inches long. That's 1 lb, 5.5 oz and half and inch in a month. What a big girl!

Here's our lovely girl: