Already overlooking the 2nd?

Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating. I just feel like I was such an active blogger when I was pg with Gabriella and now I haven't blogged too much in detail. Honestly, that's b/c not a whole lot is going on with this pregnancy just yet. The nausea I was experiencing last week is pretty much gone except for sporadically here and there. I think that what was happening is that I kept thinking about how I was going to get nauseous and then that made me have a wave of nausea. Make sense? Yeah, it is weird, but I think that's what it was. As of now, I only really get it if I'm super hungry or thirsty. And even then its not bad at all. If memory serves me correctly I was about 6 weeks with Gabriella when it started and about 7-8 weeks when it became a mainstay, so I still have time.

My boobs still hurt and are still bigger. The constipation is not too bad. And the fatigue, well let's just say that I think I'm just tired from the day to day still versus pregnancy fatigue. As for bloat, well, it may be starting, but I could just be gaining weight since I've been insatiable these past few days (or it could be the poop). So yeah, all in all, I still don't feel "pregnant" like I did with Gabriella. We'll see what the next few days bring. I have my dating u/s in a week from today. I'm already starting to get nervous about that.

As for my little lady, she's super sick today. She has the flu and an ear infection as an off shoot from the virus. She is just miserable and I feel awful. All she wants to do is lay around on me. She's normally a fabulous eater and has only managed to eat a few blueberries today. Thankfully she is still drinking milk so I can at least give her the antibiotics for her ear infection. I just hope she feels better ASAP and that my happy sweetheart is back to her old self. I know the flu is just miserable, but to see it in her is just heartbreaking!

1st OB appt and PG survey time!

I had my 1st OB appt yesterday - it was fabulous.
I actually didn't see my usual doc today and went with the 1st available "first ob" appt with another doctor in the practice. I am SO glad I did. Don't get me wrong, I adore my doc, but this doc blew the other one out of the water. He was so knowledgable and actually commended me for knowing so much about TTC and pregnancy. He said I was such a joy to have as a patient b/c I was so informed - I have NEVER heard that from any of the docs in the practice. Most of the time I feel like I am being dismissed like "let the doctor be the doctor" type of stuff if I get too in depth with what I'm talking about.

I expressed my concerns with last week's HPTs and he said essentially "don't even worry about those, your beta numbers are fantastic and given your age, family history, and your previous pg, there's no reason to believe anything at all is wrong with this pg." He right away said that it was great that I was charting and that given that I Oed late, he wanted a dating u/s within the next 2 weeks, but he preferred 2 weeks from now so that we should be able to see a heartbeat. He went on about cervical checks post 22 weeks and that while I wasn't a high rish pg b/c of my LEEP he certainly wanted to make sure my cervix was closely monitored.

He was SO interested in what I do for work and he was telling me what his sister did (something similar but on a different scale) so we really hit it off on a bunch of levels. I think the fact that he was young helped the connection as well. In any case - I love him and am so excited to have such an informed advocate who understands how my brain works.

Oh, and he did a pelvic check and said everything (including my cervix) seemed great for how far along I was. So, u/s is 3/1 at 12.30pm and next OB appt is 3/11 - eek! So exciting!

PG Survey!

How far along? 5 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: well, I weighed in at 145 yesterday so that's my baseline
Maternity clothes? Certainly not
Sleep: I haven't been overly fatigued just yet, but I'm sure that will come soon with my insomnia.
Best moment this week: OB appt, finding out I get an early u/s
Food cravings: Nothing really. I'm starting to get more frequent waves of nausea, so I'm starting that habitual grazing.
What I miss: My baby, like I do every day when I'm at work
What I am looking forward to: Going to bed tonight. Its been a long week already
Milestones: Hmm, I dunno, 1st OB appt I guess? Making it to 5 weeks thus far? Getting nausea earlier than with G, lol

2nd beta in!

234!! Doubling time of exactly 48 hours! OMG! Doc said things are progressing nicely :)

1st OB appt is on Tuesday :)

Betas in!

I was either 12 dpo or 14 dpo, I'm not convinced on either, but my number was 89.1! Which means there's NO WAY that a good ol' FRER wouldn't have picked that amount of HcG (the beta was the same day as the almost negative test). So, the only real explanation here is a bad box of test, and while I hate to think that since it's not that common but alas every other test that I've taken aside from the 3 from that box have been positive and faintness/darkness was consistent with DPO or previous tests.

I have my repeat beta tomorrow morning vs. today since the lab was full today, however regardless of if I had gone in today or tomorrow morning, my next set of betas will be ready on Monday. Fingers crossed for a strong 2nd beta as well!

This current 1st beta is great for either 12 or 14 dpo (according to beta base) so given everything that's happened, until I'm given a real reason to worry, I'm going to be happy and enjoy this pregnancy :)

Oh, and for the record, I got a positive on an Internet cheapie last night after guzzling water all day and it had only been about 1.5 hours since I had peed. I am now done peeing on tests.

Hopefully good news to come on Monday :)

An update

This morning I essentially got a negative pregnancy test. There was the faintest shadow of a line and it didn't really appear until close to the 10 minute mark. I called my OB to inform them of this given their instructions from yesterday and the nurse I talked to was less than helpful. I was informed of a few things. One being that they discourage their patients to take more tests once they get a positive. Um, ok sure, b/c ignorance is bliss? In addition to this I was told that HcG doesn't decrease as rapidly as is being reflected in my hpts. Um, ok, am I lying? I was told to wait to retest till the weekend and just come in for my OB appt on Tuesday. Serious hilarity and frustration with them.

Out of desperation to get some kind of answers I called our RE office again and got some more specific answers as to why I couldn't come in for a beta there. I'm an inactive patient with them since its been over 2 years and in order to be an active patient I'd need to come in for a physical, etc. Which essentially I couldn't since I wouldn't be seeking fertility treatment from them. They did however say that since my OB wasn't being helpful that they advise me to contact my general practitioner and that they should have no problem getting me in for some b/w.

So, called the GP's office and got an appt right away. They were AWESOME there and both the nurse and doc really listened to my concerns and it was without a doubt that they would be ordering b/w. In the mean time, I took a urine test there and it was positive which was SHOCKING given that I had a negative result this AM with FMU on a FRER. Yet I was getting a solid positive at the docs, mid-day, after drinking water all day. The only place to really go from here is to see what my betas do. I had them drawn today, with results to come tomorrow. If they come back positive (which I am assuming that they will given that the urine test came back positive) I go back for a repeat beta on Thursday.

To say that I have been on an emotional rollar coaster would be an understatement. I had come to terms with the fact that I would likely miscarry and now this random positive is making me question everything. Not only this but I have so many questions floating around in my head that really can't be answered till my betas are drawn and then till I go to the doc (that is of course unless I start bleeding).

In terms of how I feel. Well, my temp is still soaring. I lost that fatigue I was initially feeling and while my boobs were their sorest (I think) on Sunday, they are definitely more sore today than they were yesterday. OMG - I am losing my ever loving mind.

Beta numbers to come tomorrow.

This may not end well

Seems that I *may* have posted too soon yesterday. This morning I woke up at 4 am (to pee) and of course took my daily FRER since it was going to be 2 hours till I woke up for the day. The FRER showed a lighter line than yesterday (yesterday was light but def there, today's was much lighter, but again still a + test). Now, I know this doesn't automatically mean early miscarriage, but I am pretty much resigning myself to the fact that it is. I spoke with the OB office and they have me scheduled for my 1st OB appt next Tuesday - as far as they're concerned as long as my tests keep coming up positive, they are going to treat it as a pregnancy. If I should have any onset of severe cramps, any form of bleeding, or a negative pg test, I am to call them.

I want so badly to be hopeful, but I feel the symptoms I so heartily felt yesterday have already loosened up a bit. I haven't bit fatigued today (granted that could be the adrenaline) at all and my boobs are less sore. Now I as well as anyone know that hormones levels can fluctuate and cause those things to wax and wane, but lets be real here, it doesn't look good. In my heart I feel that something is wrong. I just know that test will be negative tomorrow or at least close to it. I'll keep you all posted, I swear - but please keep me and bebe #2 in your thoughts if you can.

Well, that was certainly unexpected!

So, looks like I'm KTFU. I never EVER in my wildest dreams imagined that it would happen on the 1st cycle. I thought we were surely in for a grueling year and you can imagine my surprise when that 2nd faint line showed up on the FRER. I can't count how many times I said "oh shit" as that 2nd line appeared. I thought it was lying at first (lol), and dipped in another one and same result. Wow, just WOW. Gabriella's baby brother or sister is due October 18th, but given how early I went into labor with Gabriella I'm guessing this one will join us earlier in October.

When I went into Gabriella's room this morning and I just squeezed her and kissed her and thought that I'm the luckiest person in the world b/c I get to have another one of her. Clearly, they won't be the same, but you get my drift!

I can honestly say that the early onset of fatigue is most certainly here. The past few days I've just been beat (which is partly what prompted me to test) and my boobs are increasingly sore. I have an interview for a promotion in the coming weeks and hope that anything wicked stays at bay until after then.

To those of you who know me IRL, please don't out me - we're not sharing the news just yet!