Thank you!

I felt that I needed to express my gratitude in a separate post. Thank you SO much for all your warm wishes and love. I want to wish all of the aspiring mothers lots of love and hope. TTC is not an easy road to travel. You want something with your whole heart yet time and time again your dreams do not come true. I was on this road for 10 months, and while it is not as long as other's, it was definitely long enough. Those trials taught me what a gift being pregnant really is.

Every morning since I found out, I wake up feeling unbelievably happy. My heart feels so full of joy that it could burst. With this joy, I have a good amount of anxiety and fear as well. But, hey, I'm a worry wart so for me to not worry at all would be a great feat.

**4 weeks, 3 days**

Like the dork that I am, I took a belly pic at 4 weeks. I'm not bloated yet so it doesn't look like much, but I figured I might as well start chronicling my pregnancy with some visuals. While I don't have any bloat, my boobs are killing me. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not in any way, shape, or form complaining...but rather just sharing what I am experiencing. I wouldn't trade this for anything. Soooooo....I also have mild cramping here and there. It only lasts from about 1-10 minutes and then goes away. I had this the day of BFP and then I didn't start feeling the cramping again till this past Friday. My lower back hurts today as well...but I'm trying to just relax as much as possible. I definitely think that fatigue is starting to make its entrance. I slept 9.5 hours last night and could easily take a nap right now.

2nd betas are in

I just spoke with the RE nurse. Levels are at 200! More than doubled since Monday. I have my 1st u/s on the 23rd!

3 weeks and 5 days

Gosh I have such a long way to go! Yesterday was such and exhilarating and exhausting day...but it was definitely one of the happiest days of my life.

Thus far I am feeling a little tired. Yesterday I started having these weird growing pain type cramps...which eventually spread into my lower back. It was a dull, persistent, annoying-as-all-hell ache. It got stronger at the night went on, but this AM I woke up and they were gone. Of course, as soon as I got into work this morning I was googling lower back pain in early pregnancy. And there it was, all over the google, as very normal. So, I feel better. I'll mention it to the RE nurses tomorrow if it happens again but for now I am hoping they stay away!

I think I'm already having the start of food aversions. I usually love my balance bar and cup of joe (decaf, of course) in the morning. But, today I could barely eat the entire balance bar and dumped pretty much my entire cup of coffee down the drain. I wondered if I was imagining it, since I'm so early on, but figured that I doubt I would put in the effort to make an entire cup of coffee, only to just dump it down the drain.

I go in for my 2nd beta tomorrow morning and am hoping and praying that my numbers double. My 1st beta was 68.5 which the RE nurse told me was very good. According to my own research, 68.5 is great for only 11 DPO. Now lets just hope it doubles. When it does (I am not going to say if) we will tell Chris' family. He wanted to wait while I elected to tell my parents, sis, and BF yesterday. I'll have my 1st u/s late next week....I should be around 5 weeks. Not far along enough for a heartbeat, but we should be able to see a sac. We are so excited!

Oh and one more thing. When we went out to PF Chang's about 3 weeks ago, Chris got a fortune cookie that said "Your present plans are going to succeed." I immediately stuck it in my wallet and have kept it with me ever since!

I'm pregnant!

Words cannot express what this feels like. Its a mixture of being scared, blissful, and a little nauseated! I am praying so hard for a sticky baby! My EDD is June 25th, 2009!

In the 1ww

So, I've got about 4 days until I POAS or AF arrives. I spend one moment elated at the thought of it *really* happening...and the next in despair. I hate the rollarcoaster. But I do know this: no matter how hopeful I always am in the time after O, I am always just as devestated when AF shows her ugly face. No amount of realism in the 2ww makes her arrival any easier. Rather than restrict my optimism, I am allowing myself to have some.

Unrelated to my optimism, I decided to peruse the baby section at TJMaxx today. I have only been in this section once before and vowed that I wouldn't go near it b/c I would jinx myself. Well, forget that. Looking at baby clothes isn't going to doom an impending pregnancy. But I have to say, it did not do me any good to look at baby clothes. As I was walking back to my car I totally got teary eyed. I am SO pathetic.

****

I just realized that almost every weekend this month I will be in the presence of a pregnant friend or relative. Next weekend is my only weekend off. The 2nd to last weekend of October I get to see smug SIL. God help me.

Updated pictures of our place

At long last, here are some new pictures!

This is half of the great room (the unfurnished half)

This is the furnished half of the great room, and the breakfast nook, kitchen

Dining Room

Entry Way (and entrance to kitchen)

Accent Wall upstairs

Finally!

Its has happened. I ovulated for the 1st time in about 3 months. Huge temp spike this morning, with hopefully 2 more high temps this weekend to give me crosshairs.

Tonight we are having our friends over to see the new place. They are expecting, of course. She is due in January. This was the 2nd friend that got pregnant in the time that we have been TTC. I heard about this girlfriend and a co-worker on the same day (see old blog posts in June/July for more details). Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them. But, my happiness for them doesn't make them any easier to be around.

Hope you all have a good weekend!