Coming out of the fog - 12/3/11

It's been quite some time since my last post and I promise it hasn't been without good reason. Things have been pretty rough here in our house with Miss Emilia who has reflux and colic. Rather than draw out all the details, I'll just list out what's been going on:

• I stopped exclusively breastfeeding and started pumping after Emilia's reflux started really kicking in and her shortened feeding times caused a second foremilk-hindmilk imbalance. I have been pumping for 2 weeks now. Initially the pumping corrected the imbalance right away, but it came back as I am still producing too much foremilk for her little tummy. Right now the only remedy is to remove the foremilk once it separates out from the hindmilk. I don't know how long my supply will be able to keep up with her demand, but we'll plug away until we can't anymore. Probably about 6 more weeks or so.
• From 5 weeks to a little past 6 weeks, Emilia has been unbelievably difficult. Not sleeping well, screaming. OMG things have been better these past 2 days, but wow, I still can't believe I'm alive after all of it. I know we'll still have some bad days and moments, but I hope we are on the upswing and her sleeping is starting to regularize a bit.
• Emilia gave mama her 1st smile on Thanksgiving she also rolled over from tummy to back during tummy time at about 5 weeks. Hasn't done it since but it was amazing to see that so early, even if it was on accident.
• Gabriella has been a typical 2.5 yr old. Very bratty and very demanding of my attention since I've had my hands really full with Emilia. I hope that as Emilia outgrows her fussiness that I'll be able to spend more time with her. Right now I feel like all we do is put movies on for her and I hate that.
• I have post partum depression.